If loving your body feels like too much of a stretch right now- that's okay!
A great first step is shifting from "I don’t like my body" to "I can respect my body."
A great first step is shifting from "I don’t like my body" to "I can respect my body."
Positive body image isn't believing your body LOOKS good; it is knowing your body IS good, regardless of how it looks.
It isn't about thinking you're beautiful; it is knowing you are more than beautiful.
-Lindsay Kite, PhD.
What is Body Image?
|
Body image is how you think and feel about your body—it’s shaped by your thoughts, perceptions, imagination, and emotions.
Whether positive or negative, body image is influenced by both internal and external factors. Interestingly, your body image doesn’t always reflect what you see in the mirror—or how others see you. You may feel that your body is much larger or smaller than it actually is. |
Why Is Body Image So Distorted?
We live in a world that constantly bombards us with messages about how our bodies "should" look.
From airbrushed models to social media influencers, the message is often the same:
"Do what I do, eat what I eat, and you can have MY body."
But here’s the truth: That’s impossible.
Even if we all ate the same food and did the same workouts, our bodies would still be unique.
Your body will always be YOUR body.
Whether you love it or struggle with it, it’s time to stop feeling like you’re at war with your body and call a truce.
We live in a world that constantly bombards us with messages about how our bodies "should" look.
From airbrushed models to social media influencers, the message is often the same:
"Do what I do, eat what I eat, and you can have MY body."
But here’s the truth: That’s impossible.
Even if we all ate the same food and did the same workouts, our bodies would still be unique.
Your body will always be YOUR body.
Whether you love it or struggle with it, it’s time to stop feeling like you’re at war with your body and call a truce.
How do I "Make Peace" with My body When That Feels Impossible?
The key to making peace with your body isn’t weight loss—it’s trust and listening.
Many women believe that losing weight will fix their body image or self-esteem. But research shows that even after weight loss, body dissatisfaction often remains.
Why? Because we live in a culture that glorifies thin, “perfect” bodies as the ideal.
From an early age, we absorb messages that say:
✔ This is what my body should look like.
✔ If I don’t look like this, I won’t be happy or healthy.
Naturally, we compare ourselves to these unrealistic standards—and end up feeling inadequate, flawed, or unworthy.
But you are not the problem. The standards are.
Many women believe that losing weight will fix their body image or self-esteem. But research shows that even after weight loss, body dissatisfaction often remains.
Why? Because we live in a culture that glorifies thin, “perfect” bodies as the ideal.
From an early age, we absorb messages that say:
✔ This is what my body should look like.
✔ If I don’t look like this, I won’t be happy or healthy.
Naturally, we compare ourselves to these unrealistic standards—and end up feeling inadequate, flawed, or unworthy.
But you are not the problem. The standards are.
It's easy to think that losing weight will solve all your body image and self-esteem issues...but this is actually not the case.
Why Body Image Matters
A positive body image is linked to:
✔ Improved self-esteem and confidence
✔ Greater body acceptance and trust
✔ Increased self-compassion
✔ Healthier self-care practices
✔ A balanced approach to food and movement
On the other hand, a poor body image can harm both physical and emotional well-being.
Women with a negative body image are more likely to:
❌ Engage in restrictive dieting
❌ Develop disordered eating behaviors
❌ Over-exercise
❌ Struggle with life-threatening eating disorders (e.g., anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder)
❌ Experience low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety
How Can I Improve My Body Image?
This is a complex question because body image is deeply ingrained in our psyche. It is shaped by a lifetime of experiences, many of which begin in childhood.
The way our parents spoke about food, weight, and their own bodies can have a lasting impact on how we see ourselves. These early messages are absorbed like a sponge and can shape our self-perception well into adulthood.
Negative body image is reinforced through well-worn neural pathways—like a river carving its path through rock, making change feel nearly impossible.
But here’s the good news: You have the power to change this.
Body image has far less to do with how your body actually looks and much more to do with how you relate to your body.
One of the first steps in transforming body image is recognizing your internal dialogue—how you speak to yourself about your body.
Recognizing & Stopping Body Bashing
One of the most damaging behaviors we engage in is negative body talk, or "body bashing."
Many people who would never criticize someone else harshly will say cruel things to themselves.
Over the years, I’ve worked with clients who were judged, criticized, or shamed by partners, siblings, or parents. This kind of emotional abuse runs deep, and in some cases, working with a trauma therapist can be helpful.
But right now, we can start with one simple step:
Notice, acknowledge, and stop self-abusive body-bashing comments.
Negative body talk erodes self-confidence, damages mental health, and keeps you stuck in patterns of self-sabotage. It can even make it harder to meet your basic self-care needs.
For example, harmful thoughts like:
❌ “I don’t deserve to eat.”
❌ “I have to exercise to make up for eating too much.”
❌ “I’ll only be happy once I lose weight.”
These thoughts disconnect you from your body’s needs and reinforce a cycle of shame.
Body bashing can show up in many forms, including:
- Pinching, squeezing, or pulling at body parts you dislike
- Obsessively weighing yourself
- Making negative comments about your appearance
- Mocking your body size or eating habits in front of others
- Constantly comparing yourself to others
Breaking the Cycle: Building Awareness
The first step to change is simply noticing when negative body thoughts and behaviors show up.
Ask yourself:
🧐 When do these thoughts tend to arise?
🧐 What triggers or amplifies them?
🧐 Are there specific people, places, or situations that make you feel worse?
🧐 Can you trace these thoughts back to past experiences or critical voices from your past?
Try to observe these thoughts without judgment.
Reflect on moments when you’ve spoken negatively about your body, especially in front of others.
Body bashing is often normalized in social settings.
For example, imagine two women in a dressing room:
💬 "This top is too tight—I look like a cow."
💬 "Well, if you're a cow, then I must be a whale!"
While this type of banter may seem harmless or even humorous, it reinforces negative self-image over time.
Shifting Focus: Appreciating Your Body
One powerful way to build body appreciation is to shift your focus from how your body looks to what it can do.
Take a moment to think about:
✅ The hills you've climbed
✅ The heavy loads you’ve carried
✅ The illnesses or traumas you've overcome
✅ The people you’ve hugged, comforted, and cared for
Your body has supported you through so much.
Practicing daily gratitude for your body can help reframe your perspective.
"Positive body image isn’t about believing your body looks good—it’s about knowing your body is good, no matter how it looks."
Your body is your forever home—but you are so much more than a body.
Instead of asking, "How can I change my body?", begin asking:
💡 "What is my body telling me?"
💡 "How can I take care of my body?"
All bodies—regardless of size, shape, or ability—deserve kindness, care, and respect.