Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First 

We’ve all heard this instruction on a flight—secure your own mask before helping others. It’s common sense. But how often do we apply this to our daily lives?​

So many of us—myself included—have spent years taking care of everyone else while neglecting our own needs. When life gets overwhelming, we push through, thinking we’ll tend to ourselves later. But later never comes, and it’s not long before we feel exhausted, resentful, and completely drained.
And when our cup is empty, we naturally look for ways to cope.

For many women, food becomes that source of comfort—a reliable, familiar way to self-soothe when we feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or just done. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. We all use food for comfort sometimes. But if reaching for food becomes the only way we manage difficult emotions, it can leave us feeling stuck in an exhausting cycle.

And dieting only makes it worse.

The moment we tell ourselves we shouldn’t be eating for comfort, food becomes even more appealing, even more rewarding. It turns into a battle between willpower and cravings—a battle that feels impossible to win.

But here’s the truth: overcoming emotional eating has nothing to do with willpower. It’s not about controlling yourself harder.

It’s about recognizing why you’re turning to food in the first place.

A Different Approach: Meeting Your Own Needs

Before we can change our relationship with food, we need to check in with ourselves.
Are your basic self-care needs—nourishment, sleep, movement, fresh air, rest—being met consistently?

If yes, then it’s time to look deeper:

Are there areas of your life where you feel depleted, unfulfilled, or overwhelmed?

An empty cup shows up in different ways. Some women feel impatient, irritable, or easily frustrated. Others withdraw, feeling emotionally numb or exhausted. Some experience physical symptoms—aches, pains, sleep disturbances, intense cravings, or changes in appetite.
These are all signs that you need more self-nurturance.

What is Self-Nurturance?

Self-nurturance isn’t just self-care. It’s the act of treating yourself with deep kindness and compassion—of prioritizing your own well-being, not just so you can keep showing up for others, but because you deserve it.

Without this, food often remains the easiest and most accessible coping tool. And the cycle continues.
But when you start filling your life with things that genuinely nourish you—emotionally, mentally, and physically—you won’t need food to do all the heavy lifting.

Your Needs Matter

You have emotional needs. And those needs deserve to be met.
Not later. Not when things calm down. Not when everyone else is taken care of. Now.

​And the best part? Self-nurturance isn’t about what someone else thinks is best for you. It’s about what feels right for you.

So, let’s take a step back.
  • Do you make time for things that restore and recharge you, or is your schedule packed with responsibilities?
  • What activities help you feel relaxed, happy, inspired, or connected?
  • What sparks your creativity or helps you process emotions in a meaningful way?
  • If you could look back 30 years from now, what do you wish you had spent more time doing?

Reflect on what self-nurturance means to you. Take some time with the self-reflection exercise in the worksheet below, and explore what truly nourishes you.